Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Little Known Facts: Italy #1

Had some extra time today and thought I would gather some silly little known facts for you guys that I have learned so far on my trip

1. There are in fact more grapes in Italy than people.
2. If you can see one iota of sky above your head, im talking a half a centimeter or more be AWARE. Bird poop happens here, the birds know we are american and aim accordingly.
3. If indeed "shit happens" while you are out avoid removing immediatly, instead let the locals have a little fun staring at you until it crusts upon your head and you can flake it out.
4. Gelato is an any time of day food, for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. They are the only stores that are open at all times!
5. Between the hours of 1 to 4, everything in Italy closes (except aforementioned gelaterias) Italians enjoy a good nap, everyday.
6. Italians do NOT under any circumstances split checks, even if it is a table of 14 you will have to delegate the tab yourself.
7. Similiarly, Italians do not enjoy anything that is not cash. The mafia tends to like to take a cut of profits so cash is the most sneakable form of currency.
8. It is perfectly fine to have a bit of vino before noon, infact preferred if you are having lunch. Bottles can cost as little as .99euro so, drink up!
9. Small children know a lot more english than you anticipate. They are also not afraid to scream these "certain words" they know at you. The boys here all know a certain word we use for a cat, and will ask you if you in fact own one, at any time of day. Even with their parents.
10. Men here are clever with their come on's (or so I hear I have not infact been acosted by any Italians yet)
11. If a woman attempts to give you her baby in a throwing motion RUN you are about to be robbed.
12. If a woman tells you that you have any type of condiment on your clothing RUN you are about to be robbed.
13. If a cute dog stops beside you resist the urge to pet, and RUN this cute dog has an owner, an owner that is about to rob you.
14. People that beg here for money, often jingle from the money they have in their pockets, smoke expensive cigarettes, and cary cell phones. Think before you give!
15. It is perfectly accepted to let your child run like madmen in church, its also alright to talk during a service, and to not bow your head during prayer. It is also mildly acceptable to sleep during service.
16. Olive Oil goes on everything, period.
17. The food here is amazing you will get fat, its an unavoidable fact.
18. Be aware of surroundings at all times, especially on trains. Avoid mothers with small children that look like they need to pee (yes there is a story that follows it, and no its not pretty)
19. Hand sanitizer is your best friend, use and care for it as such
20. Dental Floss and bed posts make a quite suitable clothing line, avoid the mint type it leaves marks ;)
21. A laundry day is perfectly normal if it involves a sink, some febreeze, and wrinkle release.
22. Italian women wear heels all the time at any age. You will feel inadequate, except it.
23. People will stare at you, do not smile, smiling and eye contact is a no-no.
24. You kiss the right cheek and then the left if you know someone, confusing these directions can lead to an awkward almost kissing someone on the lips moment.
25. Lastly, Italy is the most beautiful country ever, and these facts are meant to be funny and showcase my hysterical moments trying to fit in thus far.

Hope you have enjoyed,and look forward to many more additions as I learn more of these little known facts in the future. :)

2 comments:

Melissa said...

Bahahaha...oh Sara. Your wit never ceases to amaze me.

Dadzo said...

Too funny Sara, gonna show this to everyone at UNE :-)