Tuesday, May 11, 2010

And so it begins.


I graduated on Sunday.

That sentence is really hard to look at, as I type it on my computer. I don't think I have completely excepted it yet. On Sunday M
ay 9th at 10am, a large chapter of my life came to a close. It was an incredibly bittersweet moment, a large part of me is actually hoping that I will wake up tomorrow and it will all be a dream. Suddenly, I will be back in my freshman year and able to experience these incredible four years again.

It all seems so surreal, I don't feel like I am ready at all to be a college graduate. There are some days when I feel like I am still a kid. I don't feel prepared to be an "adult." It's petrifying to spend 16 years studying, writing pap
ers, learning, and pushing yourself to this light at the end of the tunnel, this point on the horizon. And now that I am at the light, now that I have reached the point on th
e horizon all I see is water, and to be quite honest I have no frickin' idea what to do. I have been trying to apply for a job a day, but not much has turned up. This is quite possibly the scariest point in my life, because really I have no plan and anything is possible.

I guess the only
plan I do have is to stay here in Raleigh for a year, working and saving money and then in a yea
r I will re-evaulate and see where life takes me. However, if I don't find a job in the next coup
le weeks then I can't sign a lease for a new apartment. If I can't sign a lease than I have to move home. Moving home, wouldn't be bad, but it means I leave all my friends and connections I have made here in Raleigh. Which, is a terrible
thing to think about. But, I would be able to be with my family again, so that makes it worth it.



I guess, I just needed to write all this down, and get it out of my head. I am hoping that everything will work out, but who knows.

As you can see, I changed the name of the blog. I am hoping that I can use this blog to vent about life after graduation, and what being an adult really means. Cross your fingers for me...

My new life after I have turned my ring,.

1 comment:

Melissa said...

My fingers are crossed for you :) I know that, wherever life happens to take you, you WILL do incredible things because you have so much to offer the world. I can relate to the terror that comes with graduating and having no idea what is going to come next. But I have faith that it will all work out. I'm so glad that you enjoyed your 4 years at Meredith and that I could be a part of them. :)